Quick Roundup 67

Islam vs. Soccer

The Islamic militants who recently took over the capitol of Somalia must've caught some people daring to enjoy a soccer match on television.

Islamic militiamen in control of Somalia's capital fired guns in the air and cut electricity to makeshift cinemas to prevent people from watching the World Cup, witnesses said.

"As soon as the Islamists took over the security of our city, we thought we would get freedom," said Adam Hashi-Ali, a teenager in Mogadishu. "But now they have been preventing us from watching the World Cup." [bold added]

I don't know whether to laugh or to cry about the fact that this man actually believed that an Islamic militia would improve anything once it took over. Maybe we could send this guy over to talk some sense to them. And maybe we'd only need a one-way ticket.

Of course, this certainly puts into perspective the following...

USA cough c0ugh - 3 Czech Republic

Ouch! I didn't necessarily expect to see the United States escape the first round of the World Cup, but I figured we'd at least not get obliterated. Unless we at least have a win and a draw (and some help) in the remaining two games of round-robin play, we're out. In fact, two wins -- one of them against powerhouse Italy -- is the more realistic requirement.

Beer vs Prostate Cancer

Of course, any male fan of the American team who drinks himself to oblivion after yesterday's result might reduce his risk of prostate cancer down the road!

For many men, a finding by Oregon researchers sounds too good to be true: an ingredient in beer seems to help prevent prostate cancer, at least in lab experiments. The trouble is you'd theoretically have to drink about 17 beers a day for any potential benefit. And no one's advising that.

Researchers at Oregon State University say that the compound xanthohumol, found in hops, inhibits a protein in the cells along the surface of the prostate gland. The protein acts like a switch that turns on a variety cancers, including prostate cancer.

Yeah. It's quite a reach, but I'm looking for a silver lining here!

I'll Buy a Vowel, Pat

I found this article on the strategic importance of buying vowels in Wheel of Fortune by Pat Sajak to be surprisingly interesting.

The worst thing I see (and I see it more often than you would think) is when people pass up an opportunity to take advantage of the only time we actually tell them what letter is in the puzzle. Here's what I mean: when there are no more vowels in the puzzle, we announce it, and we remove all vowels from the used letter board. Consequently, it means that there are only vowels available to choose if there are vowels left in the puzzle. If there is only one vowel left to choose on the used letter board, it tells the players it has to be in the puzzle. (After all, if it weren't, we would have removed it from the used letter board once the last remaining vowel was purchased.) And yet, people frequently forget to buy it, and it is very often the key that would unlock the solution. It's fun to see the contestant coordinators tearing out their hair when that happens. [bold added]

Betty Bowers Reviews Ann Coulter

Since it's by a lefty, it is a little nihilistic. Also, lefties have succeeded in making Nazi riffs ineffective of late by over-using them (to be generous on my part). However, this Coulteresque "review" of Ann Coulter is good for a few laughs at the expense of the Hyena of the Right.

This brings me to Miss Coulter's teen tramp wardrobe. Miss Coulter showed up to the Today show this week wearing a black cocktail dress three sizes too small. At seven in the morning, mind you. No woman in New York wears a little black dress that early in the day unless she is burying someone dead, or looks like someone dead, as she makes a Whore of Babylon predawn retreat from the previous night's licentious debauchery. This may account for why Matt Lauer told me that the poor thing smelled like an ashtray.

But it wasn't the color of the dress that was so telling. No, it was the "Look! I got myself one of those Brazilian waxes!" length that spoke more to a Jackie Stallone determination to hang on to youth with knuckles no longer white but bleeding. Indeed, it seems that Miss Coulter's whole sense of self comes from thinking she is a "hot young babe" who drives, presumably myopic, men wild with a sexual desire so ardent they no longer hear the nonsense she is saying. Goodness me, who would have ever guessed that the Achilles heel for most Republican men would be the sight of pre-operative transsexuals in dresses made for someone 20 years younger?

Ouch!

Fat Tax

Well. It looks like the AMA has decided that idiot parents who allow their children to guzzle soft drinks by the half-quart are a convenient-enough excuse to call for higher taxes on soft drinks and increased regulation of the fast food industry.

What should the AMA advocate instead? What I suggested a year and a half ago: "Let [the] government protect our freedom by staying out of the fast food industry and let it promote good eating habits (and protect our medical industry) by not paying anyone's hospital bills."

-- CAV