Wednesday, March 07, 2007
I just encountered an article about "green sex" that has to be read to be believed, and that I cannot let pass without comment As my point of departure, though, I'll quote from a completely different article first: "[H]e spent his time lugging manure, fertilizing cabbage, and writing in his diary about the benefits of ... physical labor, both to himself and to the [collective]."
Aroused yet? If you're like the idiots in this article, you will be. Or you'll pretend to be. Or you'll pretend that it's obvious that others should be. Or that it's trendy to be. Whatever. When one does not hold one's own life as sacred and worthy of enjoyment for its own sake, one will look elsewhere for meaning, sometimes with hilarious results....
Other ways of "greenwashing" the bedroom, as outlined by TreeHugger and Greenpeace, include turning out the lights, not buying PVC or vinyl accoutrements, ensuring S&M paddles are made from sustainably harvested timber, using organic massage oils, showering together, using bamboo bed sheets (they come from a rapidly renewable resource and are said to be "super sexy"), and wearing lingerie made with renewable fibres such as hemp (Enamore), bamboo (Butta) and other organic goodness (GreenKnickers, Buenostyle, Peau Ethique).Call me sexually repressed, but I may not even get so far as to turn off the lights. And I won't be thinking about what my sheets are made of, what the lingerie I just flung across the room is woven from, or playing "sexual connoisseur asshole/eco-prick" with a paddle made of sustainably effin' harvested timber! When I have sex, I devote my undivided attention to my wife. Screw the rest of the world. I mean that figuratively, for the benefit of any Greens who happen to be reading this.
How mind-numbingly boring! If you're a guy who's so hard-up his sexual partner could be described as a "corn-fed, no make-up, natural fiber, no-bra needing, sandal-wearing, hirsute, somewhat fragrant hippie chick", then perhaps you might need something like the above to distract yourself long enough to -- um -- finish the job. But otherwise, what the hell is this about?
On a more serious note, this brings me back to that first quote. It comes from an article about one Jingbei Hu, who is contemplating an inability to "think for themselves" among Chinese youths past and present, and how this might tie in with China's Cultural Revolution.
Many of the people who will take environmentalism to their bedrooms will not think too deeply about any of the above. Most are mindless young people who don't think too deeply about anything at all. They just know that recycled Communism makes them feel good. There's how your cultural revolutions get started, Mr. Hu. Young minds transformed into skulls full of mush and made to feel good by the crusades of the cynical, helped along by a few idealistic "useful idiots" here and there end up putting these cynics into power, where they suddenly aren't quite so stylish anymore. But by that point, style is the least of anyone's worries.