Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Happy (Life on This) Earth Day!
Well, I won't be firing up the barbecue this time around, but I will be doing my share of exploiting the earth today. I will celebrate by contributing to the atmosphere over 556 pounds of glorious carbon dioxide fuel exhaust -- I converted the figure from kilograms in honor of the British, who started the Industrial Revolution -- by means of a flight to Boston to see my beautiful wife.
The Exploitation Game: A Contest With Two Divisions
How will you celebrate the Industrial Revolution today?
Leave a comment and, if you want a shot at bragging rights, cite the "carbon footprint" of a single, fuel-consuming activity in Imperial units only in the comments below. The largest number wins, but if I get enough responses, I may also award a Most Creative (read: upsetting to socialist Luddites) way of burning carbon-based fuel. For that category, any amount of carbon dioxide added to the air over and above your own respiration will do. I will be sole arbiter, but I will also bar myself from competing in that category.
Remember, man survives by altering the environment to suit his needs. This means that any payment of "offset" indulgences, support for Barack Obama's -- or any other -- "cap-and-trade" fuel rationing scheme, or, worst of all, sign of remorse at doing what you have to do to live as a human being will be considered grounds for disqualification. Also note that for a shot at bragging rights, your comment must be posted by midnight tonight, as determined by the automatically-generated time stamp.
Comments are moderated, so I ask for patience while I do my part (above) to celebrate this day. In the meantime, take solace in the knowledge that the more comments I have to go through upon my return to the Internet, the more carbon dioxide the resulting brain activity will cause me to generate. Bwahahaha!
As of now, the number to beat is 556 pounds. The technique, jet flight, although it is known to bother some socialists, is surely easier to beat, although, per the above rules, it isn't an entry yet. Someone else will have to fly. And enter the contest.
Let the First Annual Exploitation Games begin!
Edison Hour Update
Speaking of events related to man's distinctive means of survival, Stephen Bourque reports that Earth Hour does not go over well in nations where people remember what it's really like not to have copious amounts of power at one's disposal, thanks to electricity:
[W]hile I was in Malaysia, I was astonished to see a similar protest [of Earth Hour to my own] described in the opinion pages of a local newspaper. The title of the piece was "Earth Hour is a total farce," and it was written by a Malaysian native, Mohd Peter Davis[.]Read the whole thing. It includes quotes from the piece.
Welcome back to the blogosphere, Stephen!
My wife loves 'em, and now she (and you) can find out whether any still sitting around the house after the FDA recall are actually safe to eat.
When I was a kid, my Dad bought me a telescope one Christmas, and I had it outside one night to take a look. My middle brother, who has always had ridiculously good vision, asked me whether you could tell any planets by sight. (I was just going to look at the moon, and had no idea whether any planets were visible then, or where they might be.)
At some point, I mentioned that Saturn is yellow. So he looks around for a couple of minutes and asks me to see whether this speck of light he found I thought might be yellow was Saturn. I felt skeptical, but obliged him anyway. Yes! It was Saturn, rings and all!
But I don't think his vision is this good...
Word of the Day
Ambiguidate. (It sure is nice not to have to figure things like that out any more!)
This post was composed in advance and scheduled for publication at 5:00 A.M. on April 22, 2009.