USS Ironic

I'm glad to see (via the Charlotte Capitalist) that Cox and Forkum, not to be outdone by Scrappleface, put in their two cents' worth on the recent commissioning of the USS Jimmy Carter. From a news account:

Carter, who served as U.S. president from 1977-81 and won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2002, ranked the naming of the submarine his highest tribute.

"The most deeply appreciated and emotional honor I've ever had is to have this great ship bear my name," he said during the ceremony at the Naval Submarine Base in New London.

Carter, who was greeted by a 21-gun salute, said he expects the crew will use the submarine's "extraordinary capabilities — many top secret — to preserve peace, to protect our country and to keep high the banner of human rights around the world."

Hmmm. "Preserve peace," eh? He's clearly a Scrappleface reader, and a pretty literal one at that.

[The] Jimmy Carter ... featur[es] a high-tech sonar system which alerts enemy forces to its presence and a safety device on the Nerf missiles which allows firing only after an enemy missile impact.

An "honor"? He mustn't have been thinking of something like this. Heh! Don't get a "below average" on an ORSE, boys, or you might get a "malaise speech"! (And hell, if the Old Man is upset enough, maybe he can get Jimmah himself to give it!)

-- CAV