Obijav Kenobi

Reader and occasional comment-bomber Adrian Hester -- who really ought to consider blogging -- has sent me loads of interesting email in the past few days. Adrian has some familiarity with the Tajik language, from which the first word of this title, obijav, comes. It means "Beer" (hop-water, actually) and I'm afraid that the man wants to be known as "Obijav Kenobi" from this day forward. I have a New Orleans family connection, so he laid this one me, too: the phrase for snowman is mardi barf.

A Facetious Book Review

Anyway, Adrian works in a book store, and so has access to all manner of -- um -- reading material. His facetious review of The Big Book of Conspiracies was so good I asked whether I could reproduce it here.

We just got in the Big Book of Conspiracies, a comic-strip guide to all the nefarious goings-on that the highers-up don't want us to know about. Man, I didn't know half the stuff in that book! For instance, I knew already that the Nazis founded the CIA, but I didn't know space aliens started the Nazi Party. And while I knew Kennedy was hit by 243 bullets from every conceivable angle, I didn't know that some were fired by Catholic bishops, ultra-orthodox yeshiva-bucher, and the Salvation Army, nor that he was already dead from the poison Jackie had put in his coffee on the orders of Charles de Gaulle, nor that he was killed in order to draw everyone's attention away from the landing of a UFO in the Fort Worth Stock Yards. And I already knew from Jim Marrs' courageous exposes that the Merovingians were descendants of unions between space aliens and the missing ten tribes of Israel, and that Mary Magdalene and her children by Jesus intermarried into the lineage, but not that the Catholic Church approved the Albigensian Crusades for the sole purpose of burning the poppy seed fields they introduced into the south of France, since the Church needed a monopoly on opium to cover several popes' outstanding gambling debts. (Which is the real reason the Papacy eventually moved to Avignon--it was that much closer to Monte Carlo and Monaco,whose special industries go back much further than anyone realizes.) Wow. It was truly eye-opening.

See what I get to read in my email! It's like following my own secret blog! As for the (comic) book, I hadn't even heard of it until I read this. And I think I've read enough.

An Interesting Resource

Hester also mentioned to me that over the next three years or so, Darwin's complete works are going to be posted online.

-- CAV