A Gem from Miss Manners

Judith Martin is not only the foremost authority on etiquette. She is the funniest.

Dear Miss Manners:

I was involved in an event that was a little funny and at the same time a little aggravating. It was like the joke where the guy goes into the dressing room and thinks the person in the next booth is talking to him, only to find that that person is talking on a cell phone.

While I was in a restroom stall of a very busy office building, a man went into the stall next to mine and started a conversation. At first I was close to answering him, but fortunately I quickly realized that he was talking on his cell. Then I realized that I was about to make noises that should only be heard in a privy. Now I'm starting to feel embarrassed and a little angry at the thought of being broadcasted to who knows where.

I was at a loss. I didn't go to the restroom to listen to others conducting business on the phone.

I've always been a little shy in public restrooms, and the idea of his call going to a meeting where the other party may be listening on a speakerphone did nothing for my confidence.

So I just sat there hoping he would leave so I could finish in private.

Is it wrong for me to flush and make other noises that may disrupt his call?

Why do you feel that you would be the one to bear the embarrassment? Has it not occurred to you who the caller's listeners will imagine created those noises?

Miss Manners assures you that etiquette is contextual. What you did was not improper in a restroom; what the other person did was.

I have little to add but to chortle, and say that this is a caller who deserved a Bronx cheer!

-- CAV