Friday Hodgepodge

Four Funny Things

Some of these come from rabbit holes. You have been warned...

1. Click the "view" button here for an amusing synopsis of The Wizard of Oz.

2. If you find humor in stories about people being flummoxed by/around/concerning computers, the retro-looking Computer Stupidities site has you covered.

Image by Lara Far, via Unsplash, license.

I recently had a problem setting the video resolution on a new laptop.

Me: "It seems that the resolution is supposed to be 1900x1200. It's set to that, but it's not displaying right."

Tech Support: "Yes, that is 1900x1200."

Me: "No, I have my old computer up here, and it's also set to that resolution, and the icons are much smaller."

Tech Support: "Well, so what? Don't you want a bigger resolution?"

Me: "Um, no, a bigger resolution means that the icons get smaller. I think I should reinstall the drivers."

Tech Support: "No. How long have you been experiencing this problem?"

Me: "Since the computer started, remember?"

Tech Support: "Just on this startup?"

Me: "Yes, this is the only startup."

Tech Support: "OK, what did you change on the computer since the last startup?"

Me: "What? Nothing. Listen, this is a new comp--"

Tech Support: "No, I mean, what have you done with your computer recently?"

Me: "I took it out of the box."

Tech Support: "Why was your computer in a box?"

The above conversation came from the "stupid tech support" section.

3. Professor Andreas Zeller offers academics a list of twelve LaTeX packages that will get your paper accepted:

The pagefit package. This immensely useful package makes your paper exactly fit within a given page limit, applying a genetic search algorithm to reduce baseline distances, white space, font sizes, or bibliographic references until it exactly fits. Just write \usepackage[pages=12,includingbibliography]{pagefit} and enjoy.

I do not miss journal submission guidelines.

4. Some time back, Alison Green of Ask a Manager asked her readers to post stories of unprofessional behavior they did not regret. I suspect that the below may have been one of the funniest of the hundreds of responses she received:

I quit a job on my first day. Very similar situation- boss got angry because I didn't know things and I apparently wasn't "grateful enough" for being hired. Boss decided to go to lunch and leave me to run the reception/pick-up/drop-off area (this was daycare/preschool). Parent came in angry about something and proceeded to yell at me for 10 minutes about it. When they finally paused for air, I told them it was my first day, I didn't know how to fix their problem and they should probably find another daycare. When boss came back from lunch 2 hours later, I told her this wasn't working for me. She demanded her logo shirt back so I took it off and walked to my car in my bra. I don't regret it.

I hope for the kids' sake that that boss is out of that business.

-- CAV