Pronouns: Bullying Disguised as Etiquette

Writing at the Wall Street Journal, Colin Wright urges those of us who do not subscribe to fashionable notions about "gender" to refuse to answer when someone who does attempts to put us on the spot by starting a conversation with, What are your pronouns?

I'll offer some thoughts on that in a moment, but it is worth considering the content of the ideology behind this push:

I like to imagine her giving a mean right hook to someone asking her that question. (Image by Howard R. Hollem, via Wikimedia Commons, public domain.)

Proponents of gender ideology have completely decoupled the terms "man," "woman," "boy" and "girl" from biological sex. Gender ideology teaches that the terms "man/boy" and "woman/girl" -- and their corresponding "he/his" and "she/her" pronouns -- refer to a person's gender identity, while "male" and "female" refer to biological sex. While you may define a woman as a female human adult, gender ideology contends that a "woman" is an adult of either sex who simply "identifies" as a woman.

...

The clear message of gender ideology is that, if you're a female who doesn't "identify with" the social roles and stereotypes of femininity, then you're not a woman; if you're a male who similarly rejects the social roles and stereotypes of masculinity, then you're not a man. Instead, you're considered either transgender or nonbinary, and Planned Parenthood assures you that "there are medical treatments you can use to help your body better reflect who you are." According to this line of thinking, certain personalities, behaviors and preferences are incompatible with certain types of anatomy. [bold added]

Let that second paragraph sink in for a moment.

I am old enough to remember when there was a solid, positive, and much-needed effort at cultural change to challenge such ideas as A woman's place is the home or (at least in some quarters where I grew up) that real men didn't read books. A woman from back then could be forgiven for feeling insulted by that question after, say, stepping out of a truck she had been driving.

That's bad enough, but what's truly awful about this question is something else that Wright all but names in the rest of his piece. For example, Wright explains that it is impossible to answer that question without either appearing to agree with all the baggage behind it -- or looking like an intolerant rube. ("Far from an innocuous act signaling support for inclusion, it serves as an implicit endorsement of gender ideology and all of its radical tenets.")

In other words, this "greeting" is what Ayn Rand would have called the Argument From Intimidation -- disguised as politeness:

There is a certain type of argument which, in fact, is not an argument, but a means of forestalling debate and extorting an opponent's agreement with one's undiscussed notions. It is a method of bypassing logic by means of psychological pressure . . . [It] consists of threatening to impeach an opponent's character by means of his argument, thus impeaching the argument without debate. Example: "Only the immoral can fail to see that Candidate X's argument is false." ... The falsehood of his argument is asserted arbitrarily and offered as proof of his immorality. [bold added]

In addition to more clearly describing what's going on with this "greeting," Rand offers her own example of the kind of reply it deserves:

The most illustrious example of the proper answer to the Argument from Intimidation was given in American history by the man who, rejecting the enemy's moral standards and with full certainty of his own rectitude, said:

"If this be treason, make the most of it."

One's own answer to this question may well most appropriately be to refuse to dignify it with an answer, or it may be to help a young person understand why it is a very rude thing to say, or any number of other things depending on context. But one thing is clear: Certain types of people who push this will try to further impugn your character.

Know what is at stake and why, and be prepared to stick to your guns as gracefully as you can.

-- CAV