To 'Do the Work,' Know What It Is

Image by Ian Chen, via Unsplash, license.

I recently ran into a couple of things that caused me to make a connection I want to remember, and that a passer-by might find helpful. I'll mostly write about the first.

Mild curiosity about a popular self-help guru I find quite cultish led me to an article with a title that, thanks to Poe's Law being at work, I couldn't tell was the author's attempt at being a contrarian -- or merely a clever attempt to hook members of said guru's audience in hopes of offering a rival or supplemental product of his own.

And I'll never know, because I didn't bother to finish the article.

It may sound ironic at first, but: It was the author's attempt to prove he "did the work" that put me off. Apparently, followers of the guru convince themselves they aren't wasting their money/protect themselves from having to consider possibly worthwhile information/maintain whatever communal emotional high the guru helps them get -- by parroting You didn't do the work at people who so much as say Meh about this guru.

Granted, it is often important to establish one's competence or authority at the outset of a piece of persuasive writing, especially if one's subject matter requires uncommon expertise or experience. That's not what I was reading when I quit. The author was trying too hard, as if he didn't believe himself, or felt like he had to overcome all possible objections from the Kool-Aid drinkers.

I don't care that you read eighteen (!) self-help books. I ended up thinking, among other things, while this guy -- be he "over" this guru, a would-be sycophant, or an aspiring usurper -- was beginning to marshal his irrefutable (and possibly interminable) über- I.Did.The.Work.

If these people are all sheep, why the hell should he care if they think he did the work? And if they aren't, he could have cut to the chase way sooner.

The point at which I quit reminded me of a college roommate who was very rationalistic and liked to argue. He was also a creationist, and it was through discussing this subject with him that I learned that there is a difference between knowing that something is true (and why) -- and trying to argue a point to someone else's satisfaction.

This writer came across like the latter, rather than as someone who knew what he was talking about and wanted to help me think about that thing.

Back to the roommate... The day -- I am not making this up -- he angrily thumped his Bible and said I have faith! was the day I knew that -- despite having solid, inductive evidence on my side -- he would never be satisfied (or admit satisfaction) with it.

I knew I was right, I knew that he didn't care, and I realized it shouldn't matter to me past a certain point what he thinks or cares about. I was thenceforth free in a way I hadn't been before.

Many people never achieve that kind of freedom from the opinions of others.

Apart from having a good chuckle later on and a lesson I'd never forget, every conversation with this person about this subject past a certain point was a waste of my time.

Whatever you think of a self-help guru, or an expert, or a philosophical thinker, I recommend that you be clear with yourself why you have that opinion and what it means for your life. That's "the work" and if you feel a strong need to tell other people you did it, especially it it's to insult them or to make yourself feel good, you probably aren't done.

The second thing? You'll just have to wonder. I see no useful purpose in noting it here, except to remind myself that I have more work to do.

-- CAV