'Talented' Is Inept as a Compliment

In a short article, business writer Suzanne Lucas makes a great point: Praising someone as talented may well be common, but it is hackneyed and blows a chance to offer someone a small bit of meaningful recognition:

She had to develop her talent for music. (Image by Michel Catalisano, via Unsplash, license.)

... I hate the "you're so talented" compliment. Because it pretends you did no work, and furthermore, I could never do what you did because I lack the talent. Hogwash. I could learn it. (Well, if I wanted to and was willing to do the work.) Some things come more easily to some people, of course, and if you want to be the absolute best in the world, you'll probably need a bit of inborn talent. But, mainly success-whether in business, science, or art -- comes after a lot of work.

She follows with a list of ten other things to try, and suggests observing reactions when you use them.

I think this is excellent advice, and works because giving someone meaningful recognition is a small act of justice.

Many people hate compliments for a variety of reasons, but I bet that a big one would amount to so many of them coming across as fake or formulaic, such as by failing to meet a praiseworthy effort with a genuine attempt to appreciate it as an effort.

In other words, to consider the work environment, rather than learning that one is appreciated as a valuable member of a team, one is left feeling less-than-visible and perhaps wondering if there is much of a point in working particularly hard.

This is a big deal in the context beyond the immediate impulse to offer praise: Lots of things, like raises and promotions, depend on one's work registering with the chain of command and coworkers. A thoughtless remark in the form of a compliment can thus achieve exactly the opposite of what one would hope for in a work environment.

Good compliments are good business because they raise morale and they ultimately help insure against bad morale in your best coworkers.

-- CAV