When 'Service Animals' Crash Your Event

Today, I find myself in the rare position of taking the side of a couple of readers against Judith Martin's reply to someone concerned that a "support animal" is going to ruin an evening of dinner and the opera:

Image by Mental Health America (MHA), via Pexels, license.

My husband and I, along with a friend, pre-purchased hard-to-get opera tickets. We've looked forward to attending for many months.

However, we just learned that our companion intends to bring her extremely unruly "comfort" poodle -- not only to the opera, but also to a lovely restaurant for dinner beforehand. This dog is hyperactive and annoying; it is not a service animal that our friend needs for seeing or hearing.

Now that we know the dog is going, we want to bow out of the engagement, but would prefer to do it in the least hurtful way. Should we simply say we won't go if the dog comes along?

Miss Manners offers a couple of white lie type options which would, granted, spare the feelings of the other party, but I agree with the following comments:

Since you purchased the tickets together I think you should just level with her. "When we planned this event together, we did not realize that you would be bringing Rover. We're not comfortable with that and are wondering if you would consider not bringing him." If she refuses, then go to the opera and dinner on your own and let the dog be her problem as if she were any other attendee that you don't know.

And:

I agree that LW needs to tell her the truth. It's akin to a bait and switch - same thing as when someone "invites" you to dinner, then tells you to bring the main course. "Oh I'm sorry, that's different than what we originally agreed to; we can't do that."

Thanks to a change in regulations, "support animals" are becoming very common, and even if the government protected the property rights of people affected, there would be a need for etiquette to evolve around this new aspect of social interactions.

This is doubly so, given that the government and a small cottage industry are ganging up to make sure more of us are having to deal with animals in situations we might not expect.

The type of remedy and reason for it suggested by the two commenters are spot-on. (In the above case, I would also consider changing my date of attendance if the other party still insisted on dragging her noisy dog into the opera.)

In addition, hosts of events should take cognizance of the possibility that people may decide to bring animals along and, if they object to that, make it known in advance.

In the face of petty tyranny and of thoughtlessness, the truth can set you free.

-- CAV