Rites of Spring

Until I got interested in discussing the Provenzo article yesterday, I was going to do a quick blog on my annual inauguration of the barbecue season here in subtropical Houston, so I'll do that now instead....

Houston is definitely a city that grows on you. Way back in 1994, when I was trying to decide where to attend graduate school, I had to choose between Houston and Austin, and much of my overall impression of Houston came from two trips I'd made down here, one of which featured a bus ride through what turned out to be one of the worst parts of town. My impression was, basically, one of a huge, sprawling, flat, poor, run-down Gulf Coast city. I had listed "Houston" as one of the top "negatives" in the ledger for Rice University.

Luckily, UT Austin didn't put together a good offer and I ended up choosing Rice, which meant that I got to know and love Houston over the years. Yes, it's huge, sprawling, and flat. But it is also cosmopolitan and Southern at the same time. Once you find your way around, the vastness and sprawl cease to overwhelm you and you learn to appreciate the fact that Houston has many distinct neighborhoods, each with its own attractions and charms. And the place has numerous idiosyncrasies which doubtless have visitors and newcomers scratching their heads, but which the natives overlook, if they not actually view with affection. Marvin "Slime in the ice machine!" Zindler is a good example. The weather -- hot and stifling nine months of the year with off-the-charts pollen counts -- is another. The city is such a barbecue hotbed that a couple of years ago, it got national headlines when a study showed that the culinary activity was a significant contributor to our smog.

With the subtropical weather and the size of the city, one anticipates spring a little differently down here than one might elsewhere. Last year, for example, my "first sign of spring" was a mosquito I spotted in February. This year, I knew spring was on its way when I nearly stepped in an anthill next to my driveway a few weeks ago! Geckos in the trash are, I am sure, just around the corner!

In any event, we had unseasonably chilly (read mid-seventies) weather over the weekend, which was my first one completely off from work in quite a while, so I did what any other Houstonian would do when confronted with one of the fourteen perfect days of the year on a weekend: I fired up the barbecue!

I didn't have all day, so brisket was out. Just grilled some New York strip steaks while sipping a nice cold Maredsous 8 and doing a bit of light reading. My original impetus for blogging this enjoyable, but frankly rather prosaic event was that a couple of devices made it all the more enjoyable, and one of those reminded me of another I meant to blog long ago. So I'll finish up with those and a DVD set I also happened to remember.

Charcoal Chimney Starter

Awhile back, while perusing Steven Raichlen's How to Grill: The Complete Illustrated Book of Barbecue Techniques, I noticed that he advocated using a chimney starter. I had heard of these before, but always in some goofy, environmentalist context. "God forbid a Texan use a petroleum product to start his charcoal ablaze," I thought. But Raichlen touted the convenience of using a chimney starter, not to mention the fact that there would be no chance of tasting lighter fluid in one's barbecue. I'd never had the latter problem, but with his endorsement, I wanted to try one. So when my wife asked me for gift ideas for my birthday late last year, I mentioned this. So I got one, and have been looking forward to trying it out ever since.

Just for thoroughness, here's a brief description.

At one time or another most of us have had the unpleasant experience of eating barbecue that tasted as if it had been basted with lighter fluid. You can light your briquets without these risks with the help of a charcoal chimney. Your briquets will be ready for barbecuing in fifteen minutes or less without the danger of flare-ups and tainted food, and you will get a consistent start every time.

A charcoal chimney is basically a short section of approximately eight-inch diameter metal pipe, commonly heavy-gauge aluminum, with a grate in one end and intake holes to control air flow and speed ignition. The grate permits an even air flow around the briquets for a fast, even start.

I am always skeptical of such product descriptions, but I have to say that this thing lived up to the hype. Lighting charcoal had always been a big headache. Build a pyramid. Douse it with lighter fluid. Let it soak for 15 minutes. Douse it again. Light it and sit there with it for 20-30 more minutes. If you're lucky, the charcoal is ready to be spread around in the pit. The whole thing can easily take more than an hour.

Not so with this baby! All I had to do was (1) place some crumpled-up newspaper in the bottom of the chimney, (2) set it on fire, and (3) keep an eye on it for 20 minutes. The coals were good and ready by then, and the starter made it easy to spread them around. Nice!

Bottle Opener

The picture I wanted to show the most, that of my favorite bottle opener, is copy-protected on its vendor's site. This strikes me as very silly since having a satisfied customer like myself posting a picture of it along with my rave review would presumably amount to free advertising. But then I guess that's why one man is able to make a living designing useful objects while another ends up in the marketing department.... (On the other hand, he did just force me to send you straight to his purchasing site, didn't he?)

Even small items should be visually attractive: It requires just a little twist to remove crown-caps with the Bottle Opener. Even better, since they're hardly touched, they can even be put back onto the bottle again.

We'll just say that this bottle opener is very handsome and makes opening your brewski obscenely easy. No barbecue toolbox should be without one.

Wine Uncorker

While we did not enjoy wine with our steaks this time around, the above bottle opener reminded me of this fantastic wine bottle uncorker. This vendor's description does not do it justice:

With its unique leverpull design, our compact wine opener provides effortless cork removal every time. Crafted with the same precision found in our entire line of Connoisseur wine accessories, this wine opener features a handgrip that safely secures the bottle and a sculpted handle for single-motion cork removal. Includes foil cutter.

This thing is amazing. You place it in position. One lever motion screws the corkscrew in. Another easy lever motion removes the cork from the bottle cleanly. No tugging or straining is necessary. One more motion cleanly removes the cork from the corkscrew. No more risk of injury -- or worse, spillage -- when opening bottles. No more ruined corks. Only a strict traditionalist might object to this device -- or someone with a neurotic need to "prove himself" by opening wine bottles "the hard way"!

But I do find it amusing that a problem of the ages -- how best to uncork a wine bottle -- got licked just as the natural wine cork appears to be on its way out!

Chef! Series on DVD!

And now, on to something even more tangentially related to a post on barbecue....

I love British comedy, and one of my favorite series was a short-lived one I haven't seen in years called Chef!. Friday, I was somehow reminded of it and decided to see whether it had finally made it to DVD. And it has!

Meet Britain's finest -- and most ill-tempered -- chef, Gareth Blackstock (Lenny Henry), of the prestigious Le Chateau Anglais restaurant. Each meal is a masterpiece. Just don't ask for salt. Chef Blackstock rules his kitchen with an iron ladle and puts up with no slacking. The trouble is that his underpaid and overworked kitchen staff is littered with slackers. Tuck in and prepare to double over in laughter with this hilarious and much loved comedy series from the BBC! [link added]

I suspect that I'll be ordering this one very soon.

-- CAV

Updates

Today: Fixed a typo.